Surgiversary

One year ago today, my life changed.  I underwent gastric sleeve surgery on March 7th, 2013.   In my mind, having the surgery was a last resort, yet despite meeting people who had gone through it and seeing their successes, I never really envisioned my own.  I figured this would be another failed attempt, or that somehow, someway, I'd "beat" the surgery.  So far, thank God, I haven't.

My doctor has never really set a goal weight for me, but rather has asked me what my goal is.  I am grateful for this.  After all, it's not his goal that I'm working towards achieving - it's mine, whatever that may be.   Too many WLS doctors prescribe their own often very lofty weight loss goals to their patients, and the cynical side of me feels they do this to pad their own numbers.  My doctor did his job well - I never had any complications during or after surgery.  He gave me this great tool, but ultimately my weight loss is not up to him, it's on me.  The successes or failures are on my shoulders, not his.

When he asked me prior to surgery what my goal was, I said 220lbs.  At 360lbs, that number seemed so far fetched, so utterly unattainable, something I hadn't seen in over 20yrs when I was barely an adolescent.  Today, I am below my "goal".  But I'm not, because my goal has changed and constantly does.  I'm sure when I reach my new goal, I'll have a different one in mind.  This isn't a bad thing - I should always want to better myself - but I think it's something to keep in check.  At some point, I have to be happy with myself in the present, giving credit to how far I've come.  I'm getting better about that, but it can be hard.  To that end, in the spirit of giving myself credit, I want to thank and praise this guy.

I've heard WLS patients beat themselves up for letting themselves get as big as they were, and for missing so many things in their life because of their weight.  I'm not immune to that.  But the past is past, and rather than say what I might or could have done, I'm looking at what I did do.  This guy realized there was a problem, and that his way wasn't working.  Instead of giving up and living the comfortable life he had dug for himself (and he easily could have), he decided he wanted more.  He went from not knowing what a gastric sleeve was to having the procedure done in 5 weeks time.  He refused to imagine what could go wrong, or what it would be like to not have food as a source of comfort.

My life today is something I never could have imagined.  So much has changed in the last year, from priorities, to meeting amazing new friends, to wanting to run in a half marathon later this month.  Yet, I'm still the same guy I was before.  At least, I hope I am.  Yes, I look, and more importantly feel better, but I hope I don't treat people any differently.  The guy above was a good guy.  He allowed himself the chance to get more out of life.  Thanks for paving the way for this guy!