WLS - The Easy Way Out?

One of the reasons I've heard for why some people do not want to tell others about their weight loss surgery is criticism that he or she took "the easy way out". 

Let's discuss.  This is a bit long winded , but I realized I had more to say and am more passionate about this topic than I thought. 

I believe everyone has a vice, or at least some undesirable characteristic, habit, or addiction.  Or, maybe it is too much of a good thing - something that in moderate doses might be positive, but when taken to the extreme, can consume one's whole life: Religious practices, volunteer causes, exercise, etc.  Regardless of what the vice or habit may be, it is something that most people, upon learning about it, would probably not want for themselves. 

Some, if not most vices are hidden.  You would probably be surprised to learn that someone you know is an alcoholic or addicted to internet pornography.  Food addiction is one of the few vices that people can judge you on from a distance without having to know you.  Everyone knows your addiction, and there is no hiding it.  Baggy clothes can only be so baggy  The fat suit cannot be unzipped and tucked away for storage until the next craving kicks in.  Wearing it means health risks and judgment from the whole world.  We know this, yet we still cannot break the addiction.  The scarlet letter "F" is worn not with pride, but worn just the same.  

To add insult to injury, it is the only vice in which death is the only escape.  A cigarette addict who quits smoking craves cigarettes.  A drug addict who goes cold turkey may get violently ill, but gets better over time.  A food addict who stops eating dies.  I'm sure other vices are not easy to overcome by any means, but food is the only one you can't live without. 

And since everyone has to eat, everyone is automatically an expert with an opinion.    The judgment may not always be negative, but by and large, it is.  Some people are more empathetic than others, but most who do not struggle with their weight cannot fathom how a person could get so large without doing something about it.  Making fun of obese people is the last acceptable form of prejudice, and it isn't going anywhere anytime soon.  One needs only to turn on any late night talk show to see the latest fat joke at Chris Christie's expense.  Heavy people are denied job opportunities, and up until recently health care because of their weight.  Our society discriminates against and mocks fat people because being fat is a choice, and we can also choose to lose weight, which isn't hard to do.  Right?

Actually, that's true.  Sort of.

It's a misconception that heavy people are heavy because they don't know any better.  Sure, poverty may be partially to blame for obesity amongst the very poor - a dollar can buy a lot more junk food than healthy food.  But most overweight middle class folks that I've known understand that calories in = calories out.  Taking in more than we burn means putting on weight.  Taking in less means losing weight.  They know that to lose weight, we must eat balanced, portion controlled meals with lean protein, fruits, and vegetables.  We know to avoid too many fats and sugars, and to not drink our calories.  We have to exercise often.  It's really not a hard concept. 

So what's the problem?

The weight always comes back on.  I've lost the same 50+lbs three different times in my life.  Like most heavy people, I am an expert at losing weight.  What I'm not an expert in is sustaining the lifestyle required to keep the weight off, and to continue losing the excess weight.  My willpower would eventually dissolve, and the choices I made always reverted back to what made me happy.  Sure, it was a quick fix, and I'd feel bad about it later, which lead to more bad choices.  That's the nature of the drug.  Unlike other vices, mine requires choices.  It's not like I could choose not to eat.  

But this is usually where the judgment would come in.  Why revert back to old habits?  What was the motive behind the self sabotage?  The truth is, I'm not totally sure, but I think it's as simple as the immediate gratification outweighing the long term consequences.  In that regard, I'm no different than any addict who steps off the path they know is right.  

But I do know one thing: our society is content with my addiction and encourages it every second of every day.

                                                        Common workplace morning

I've never walked into work and seen a carton of cigarettes lying on the counter, with a sign reading "please take one".  I've never been to a Sunday school class with syringes of heroin and constricting bands so that we can shoot up before getting our God on.  Sounds ridiculous, right?  But that's exactly what we do to food addicts.  Moreover, when someone offers us a donut, cookie, etc. we feel compelled to take it so as not to seem rude.  I work at a school, and not a week goes by that a parent doesn't come in to my office offering cupcakes leftover from her child's classroom birthday party.  Of course it's not malicious on her part, just the opposite: it is an act of kindness, a gesture that she appreciates the work we do.  How can I say no?

Not that I want to.  I'm not trying to play the blame game here.  I am fully aware that I'm responsible for the food I put into my mouth.  I ultimately have control over it.  But it is hard.  Other vices aren't thrust upon you, encouraging you to take part.  They don't have the equivalent of the Taco Bell "4th" meal campaign to get us to eat a calorie laden smorgasbord in the middle of the night.  They don't ask you if you want to supersize your drug binge for only $.39 more.  They don't openly market their sugar enriched products to children under age eight during Saturday morning cartoons.  They don't have lobbyists that make Philip Morris blush, incentivizing the government to classify pizza as a vegetable for school lunches.  The list goes on and on.

Food addicts fight all these things constantly.  So, I decided to level the playing field, to at least attempt to make it a fair fight. 

For those that think WLS is the easy way out, I would ask them to consider this.  I was heavy my whole life, and I made the decision to give up the one thing, the ONE thing that I had always enjoyed, had always comforted me, had always been there for me.  In the first few months after surgery, I was still fat and frankly miserable.  I couldn't turn to that thing that had made me happy before.  There is no off switch.  Meals out which had always been so enjoyable before now seemed like a waste of time and money.  For my first Halloween, I eyed the candy, knowing that yes, I could make the wrong choice and have some, but there would be no room left for anything that would actually nourish me.  I filled up on my first Thanksgiving meal after surgery in four bites, watching my family all around me continue to eat and then get 2nds.  I made what amounted to a huge sacrifice for me in order to perhaps live a little longer, a little more comfortably, be a little more acceptable to myself and others. 

And some people think I took the easy way out?  They can go f...ly a kite.     

I mentioned in my first post that after trying, and failing, to sustain weight loss, I gave up hope and stopped caring.  The fear of what would happen if I continued to gain weight drove me to WLS.  I learned about it, decided it was right for me, and had it done.  I am not sure I am a success story yet.  I've had success, sure.  I am no longer considered obese based on outdated BMI standards.  I've lost 150lbs since surgery, and over 165lbs from my highest weight.  But time will tell if I can do what it takes to keep the weight off.  Because all I've been given is a tool to help me, nothing more.  It doesn't stop the bad stuff, the "slider" foods from going down.  I can gulp down all the milkshakes I want without batting an eye.  The right choices are still up to me to make - but I have help.  Just as a smoker might use Chantix, or a drug user goes into rehab - it is a tool to help me overcome my addiction.  WLS helped make it a fair fight.  The rest is up to me. 

Last point of contention: Assume the position that WLS is actually the easy way out. Since when is doing things the easy way considered the wrong or bad way?  If I'm going from point A to point B, am I a fool for going the most direct, least congested route?  Am I not more the fool if I continue to go down the route that takes me even further away from my destination than I once was? 

Don't let anyone tell you WLS is the easy way out.  It takes hard work and sacrifice to use it to its full benefit, but if you do, the reward is worth it.  Pay it forward, reveal it to those who ask.  You never know who you might help.